STUDY PEOPLE, STUDY YOUR LIFE ORIENTATION

A Portrait of People Studying Other People
And Studying Themselves


People using ordinary language to study themselves and others are personality theorists – researchers. They are aware of issues dealing with reliability, validity, degree of uncertainty, and relativity of judgments made to understand themselves and others.

If a person wants to do X, likes to do X, prefers to do X, tries to do X, can do X, ought to do X, and its O.K. for the person to do X in this situation, then ordinary language will predict that the person will do X. This statement can also be translated into other theoretical languages.

Suppose X is an addictive behavior. Does the person really want to do X or is the person forced by addiction to do X? Is doing X for this person, in fact, an “addiction”? What do you mean by “addiction”?

Suppose X is eating food. Does the person eat because the person wants to eat or does the person eat as a means of satisfying other motives, e.g., to reduce boredom, loneliness, and depression? Does the person eat because of “hunger”? What do you mean by “hunger”? Is hunger physiological or cultural, e.g., the person has learned from childhood what to eat, when to eat, how to eat, etc. Is hunger an addiction or like an addiction?

Suppose X is getting a particular job. You believe the person got the job because of intrinsic ability. You believe the person wanted the job, tried, and could get the job. I believe the person was hired because of connections. His father is the employer.

Do you believe this person truly believes he or she ought to do X? How do you know the person is not pretending, lying, or unconsciously motivated not to do X?

As soon as we ask, “What do you mean by __________?” and “How do you know __________?” people who study people may disagree. They can learn from their disagreement.

The attribution of causality or responsibility by people judging people and by people judging themselves falls into 4 general categories. The 4 categories are:

1. The External Environment (physical, chemical, biological, social, historical, e.g., learning, political, economic) is responsible.
2. The Internal Environment (physical, chemical, biological, psychological, e.g., the person’s trait or type) is responsible.
3. The Person is responsible. The person has chosen to construe, to act or react in a particular way.
4. Chance, fate or higher power is responsible.
Different explanations within a category and explanations combing categories are possible.

People who study people may understand the same behavior in different ways. Different behaviors may be understood in the same way.

Assuming total responsibility for one’s own behavior can be a way of avoiding “the role of the victim.”

People who study other people and study themselves are creative artists; creating the story of their life from selected memories of their own life experiences. They are aware of their “resistance” to revealing their weak, inadequate, sick, angry, fearful, shameful, guilt-ridden, ambivalent or conflicted self. They are also aware that paradoxically their strengths may be hidden in their weaknesses. They do their very best to help themselves and others overcome blocks to creative, constructive living.

People who study other people and study themselves use the method of assuming the subjective vs. the objective attitude. In the subjective attitude, they identify, merge, become the other, empathize (for or against) and sympathize. They are totally ego or emotionally involved. In the objective attitude they distance, detach, evaluate, analyze, criticize, and propose alternatives to change for the better. They are more task-oriented than ego-involved.

The natural use of this method becomes apparent when we watch a movie, read a novel, see a theatrical play, or attend a sports event. In the subjective attitude we identify and merge with the players, e.g., we become part of the love scene or the fight encounter. We empathize, sympathize, become hypnotized, and mesmerized by the events. At the same time or alternately we know we are not in the scene on the movie screen, or in the novel, or on the theatrical stage, or in the sports arena. At the same time or alternately we know that we are not the players. We can distance, detach from it, and remain apart from it. We become more “objective.”

We can assume both these attitudes in the study of our own lives and the lives of others.

In both the subjective and objective attitudes people who study people can understand others and themselves by referring to past similar vs. different contrastive experiences. When you tell me you are hungry, or angry, or idealistic, or realistic, or opportunistic, I know what you mean by referring to my past similar experiences. Of course, I could be wrong. I may have misunderstood you. People who study other people and study themselves are Personality Theorists – researchers. They are aware of issues dealing with reliability, validity, degree of uncertainty, and relativity of judgments made to understand themselves and others. They can learn from their differences, contrastive experiences, and disagreements.

A Procedure for Studying Your Own Life and the Lives of Others

Phase 1:
Start with your first memory. Write or record “The Story of My Life So Far” entirely in the subjective attitude. Let your thoughts and feelings pour out. It’s good to be very ego or emotionally involved in Phase 1.

Keep a pad and pen with you whenever you can. Memories long forgotten will re-emerge at unexpected times.

The story of your life is never complete. There can never be a perfect autochthonous one to one relationship between your life experiences and your memories. Memories are never as vivid as life experiences. Memory sharpens some life experiences and levels other life experiences. The story of your life so far is your creation from selected memories of your life experience.
When you have a first draft that you are moderately satisfied with, you are ready for Phase 2.

Phase 2:
Assume the objective attitude. Read or listen to the life story you have created as if it happened to a person you have never met. You may give this person a new name.

In the objective attitude you distance, detach, evaluate, analyze, criticize, and propose alternatives to change for the better. Be more task-oriented than ego-involved.
Record your experience in the objective attitude.

Phase 3:
Compare your experiences in Phase 1 and Phase 2. You can do this in the subjective and objective attitudes alternately. Record your experience.

Phase 4:
Compare your experiences in Phase 1, 2, and 3. You can do this in the subjective and objective attitudes alternately. Record your experience.

Phase 5:
Couple with another person who has been through phases 1 through 4. Exchange life stories. Each person will experience the other’s life story in the subjective and objective attitude. Record you experiences. Compare your experiences.

Phase 6:
A couple who has been through the procedure can couple with another individual or couple and repeat.

For further information, call 623-628-4584.